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isn't quite ashamed enough to present

jr conlin's ink stained banana

:: Returned to Sender

To quote Steve Martin: The new phone books are out!

This, of course, is not really a big deal for me. To be honest, i don’t really use them. i tend to go online and look up local stuff.

To be further unfathomable, they delivered two books to me. Not a split copy (with A-M in one book), or a separate area, two that were exactly the same. They were even conveniently shrunk wrapped so that i could, i dunno, kill bigger spiders with them or something.

Now, at this point, i had a few choices, specifically Refuse, Reuse or Recycle. One was to simply toss one (or preferably both) of these books directly into the recycling bin. A good answer, but it’s the third of the three and really not the best one.

The second option was “reuse”. Now while i could shred it and use it as mulch, it’s not really “high quality”, and i don’t have any chairs or tables that need three inches of support, so that’s out.

Likewise, it’s hard to “refuse” something that was dropped off in the dead of night like a flaming bag of dog poo.

So there’s another option. “Return”

For some odd reason, i couldn’t find the address of Valley Yellow Pages in the book they gave me. There was a phone number provided though, and wouldn’tya know it, it’s in Campbell. Well, a quick search on my local info site of choice gave me the address, and a nice map.

i dropped the book off, and even added a little “No Thanks.” note to the cover. Writing it in a nice thick sharpie. i even drew a little heart on it so they knew i wasn’t upset. i then drove over and tossed it gently onto their doorstep.

Now, i’m not suggesting that if you’re like me and consider that big yellow beastie kind of worthless too (at least folks in northern climes can use it as kindling), you should likewise consider returning it, particularly since if they gave me two copies that means that they may be inflating their “subscriber” numbers just a hair, but i am thinking that since they provided this book, unwanted to your doorstep, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t repay their kindness.

en mass.

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