isn't quite ashamed enough to present

jr conlin's ink stained banana

:: RE: Your Social Media Job Offer

Dear ${RECRUITER_NAME_HERE},

Thank you for your kind offer to work for ${SOCIAL_MEDIA_SITE}. i'm thrilled at the opportunity to do work for a company with such high profits and large user base (generally specified in that order). i'm sure that the upcoming / recently closed IPO will boost profitability even higher, and the growth prospects continue to look positive.

But, wanna know the best part? i'll work for you for FREE!

Yes, that's right, FREE! No charge! Zip! Nada! No paperwork, nothing but pure profitability! All you have to do is toss me the keys (literal SSH keys) to the machines and i'll get started right away!

Within minutes, i'll have a full copy of your source code on my backup site PayMeToSeeTheseJokersCode.com, where i'll carefully inspect things and find key places to improve access and accessibility. Soon, it'll be like you've got hundreds of me all over your code. You'll be famous! Heck, you might even benefit from some of these changes!

What's more, everyone knows how sensitive email can be. That's why i'll make sure that i subscribe to every single mail list and archive system and keep a careful catalog of fast, searchable information. If you like, i'll even offer you a half price subscription to the service. What a Deal!

Oh, sure, i may recover a small amount of my expenses by placing your proprietary code and systems up for auction, but then you're well aware how profitable sharing what some Luddites insist on continuing to refer to as "private information" can be. This is the modern, interconnected age, and information wants to be free. No, strike that. Information wants to be sold for the highest possible dollar. After that, who cares, amirite?

Anyway, looking forward to those keys so i can start right away!

Hugs!

jr

Blogs of note
personal Christopher Conlin USMC memoirs of hydrogen guy rhapsodic.org Henriette's Herbal Blog
geek ultramookie

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