So, Crypto-currencies are quite the thing lately. Seems like there's a new one popping up every few minutes with some new angle. Unfortunately each of these new coins suffer from a critical flaw which results in loss due to threat or fraud.
That's why i'm happy to introduce QuantCoin©, the completely unstealable digital currency.
How can i get a QuantCoin©?
Easy, you already have one.
QuantCoin© uses a barely understood principal1 of quantum mechanics as it's principal. Unlike cryptocurrencies, it absolutely can NOT be stolen or misused. That's because there's only one QuantCoin©. See, QuantCoin©s exist in superposition, meaning that they exist in multiple points at the same time. That means the QuantCoin© that you hold is exactly the same as my QuantCoin©. If you were to somehow steal my QuantCoin©, you'd simply have the same coin you already own.
What is the value of a QuantCoin©?
The way that QuantCoin© easily takes advantage of simple Quantum physics, it also uses the amazing advances in economics utilized by high speed traders. That's right, QuantCoin©'s value is based on futures trading.
How does this work? Let's look at an example. Let's say that you wanted to use your QuantCoin© to purchase a pack of gum. That establishes the value of your QuantCoin©. Bob plans on purchasing a new car. That means that Bob's QuantCoin© works out to be worth 64,000 times your QuantCoin©, meaning that in the future, your QuantCoin© will be worth 64,000 times it's value. This means that it becomes interesting to Larry, who's looking to buy a nice little home in Dubai, which raises the value of QuantCoin©s again. This means that the future price averaged for QuantCoin©s is now well over 1,000,000 when the QuantCoin©s are eventually exchanged using amazing "Minority Report" style interfaces that will require waving just about every body part, for the added security.
QuantCoin© is Green!
Quantcoin© doesn't need all that power consumption or complex math, because it works all natural, organic processes, and is made, right here in the good ol' . In fact, it works on the same principals that make meadows and pastures rich and vibrant ecosystems.
Isn't that amazing?!
And you can be part of it too, just sign up for my 3 day seminar and book series in the lobby and you too can be part of this amazing financial windfall!
QuantCoin©: Because Analytic Financial CryptoCybercloudbuzz to you, today!
1 "barely understood" means "by me". Obviously real physicists get this sort of thing, but hey, this is about marketing and folks buy those magnetic bracelets, so
conning convincing them to accept this currency is a simple matter.