jr conlin's ink stained banana

Part of me would love to use this as my answering machine message. Mostly because it would throw off auto-dialers.

Granted, it'd probably confuse the hell out of most other folks, which (frankly) would be a bonus.

It'd be easy to spot those callers though. They'd be the folks with a confused look, a quarter in one hand and their cellphone in the other looking for the coin slot.

More recordings to bring back those lovely days of making calls in Superman's dressing-room.

To some unknown designer at Stanley Tools, i salute you. You nearly got away with the absolute perfect joke.

Behold, the Stanley Functional Utility Bar.

Sadly, someone in Brand didn't quite get the joke since it's marked as a FatMax Xtreme.

i saw a smaller version of one of these at Target. It had more pointy bits than i could count and was covered in little black safety nubs. It became an object of great desire. i may just get one, place it above my desk and giggle.

i'm pretty well against the idea of an official sponsor of the Golden Gate Bridge, well, i can think of one appropriate one.

i also believe that this is the opposite of the Turing Test, (damn funny though).

Recently i was asked what my favorite TV shows were. Not wanting to repeat a few that folks listed (Daily Show, Mythbusters) i decided to bring out the shows that are quite possibly the most pivotal influences of my childhood.

Ladies and Gentlemen, i give you:

Superchicken:

(i should note that before i met JIM in person, these were the voices i had in my head for Hydrogen Guy. Whether or not they continue to be depends on how threatening JIM glares at me.)

Roger Ramjet:

Probably best described as an illustrated radio program.
A poorly illustrated radio program.

Damn funny anyway.

Still beats what's usually on TV…

i'm not sure who's more scared.

(i mean, i do sit next to the guy, and we both like cats and all, but you wouldn't want me in the pilot's seat and i'm willing to believe that i bake better cookies.)