jr conlin's ink stained banana

i have some rather shocking news for you. Right now, this thing you're doing? You're not reading.

Well, not according to the NEA at least.

Turns out that a recent study by them says that there are less adult Americans reading literature and poetry. They do say that they are very inclusive, siting that if you read only five pages of a romance novel, you're still included in that survey, but still the numbers are down.

They also note that readers are more social, since they tend to focus on things better, get out and do things like volunteer.

Needless to say, i'm calling their bluff.

What they don't include in those numbers is one of the things that they site as being a problem. Folks are spending more time on-line. Now, mind you, there's a fair amount of things one can do while online, (some of which i understand you can do with your pants fastened), the predominant action involved in those activies is.. reading.

Look, i'm the first to admit the fact that nobody knows i write and that what i write is pure crap, but even now, i get around a thousand (different) folks a year reading it. How do i measure that? Because i track the IPs of the folks downloading the PDFs and reading multiple chapters filtering out known spiders and delays less than 5 minutes between chapters.

Those folks are not counted by NEA.

Likewise i'm betting that none of the stuff that any of the other unitedHeroes folks write, or BitBooks, Printed Poison, Bookwave or any of the other literary sites are counted. Nor are blogs, poetry sites, forums or any of the other countless ways folks are spending their time. So folks aren't squirreling themselves away at Starbucks with a copy of Leaves of Grass. Big freaking deal. They're just doing it at home. Despite what is also stated in that NEA report, go ask any network exec if TV viewership is solid. i guarantee they will have a different opinion.

Do i think that folks should probably go curl up with a book from time to time? Yeah-sir youbetcha. But i don't mind if the page glows a bit more than it did 50 years ago.

What is it about Nintendo fans?

i mean, seriously. Since i've started the Official "Official" list, i've had five folks submit their Nintendo classic site to the list. i've already decided that i'm cutting it off at 8 total, because if they wanted more, they should have gone with a 16 or 32 bit processor. That means there are only three slots left for you drooling devotees to chunky Mario.

Mind you, i've nothing against Nintendo, and think that any number of the games were pretty fun. i also think that Sega built a really cool console, even if i'm the last person in America who owns one, but this goes deeper than just endless fan sites.

Let's face it, you don't see any sprite comics featuring Pitfall Harry or the robots from Berzerker. You see characters from the first Everquest and MegaMan, both from (surprise!) Nintendo. i'm sure at one point it was pretty hip to walk around with a powerup mushroom on your shirt or maybe use a pixilated turtle or two on your website, but now it's just really sad.

Look, if everyone does it, it's not hip or cool. It just means you can't come up with anything original or spend more that five seconds looking for clip art. Despite what you may think you know, there were other game systems out then, some of which were (GASP) better than Nintendo's. (the NEC system was particularly nifty because it not only played 16 bit games, it had a portable system that could play the exact same game carts. i know, because i still have one of the portables. i also still have one of the original Sega portables.)

Heck, when Nintendo 8-bit ruled the couches, i thought it was crap and spent my money in arcades. No, i couldn't play at home, but you know what? Those machines kicked heavy-duty ass for a quarter.

So please. For the love of King Goomba, put down the controller. We're all really impressed you managed to solve Mario in 11 minutes. Ok, no, not really. We're just telling you that while we back towards the door.