jr conlin's ink stained banana

Why is it that some days, no matter how hard i try to focus on getting something done, the rest of the planet seems to conspire to prevent me from doing that?

Suffice to say that if i'm ignoring you, it's nothing personal…

Other than i hate you for trying to distract me.

You know, if you didn't know me better, you'd swear that i love this time of year.

It's raining, cool, and muddy. A lot of folks are miserable. i've got an All Wheel Drive car that was pretty much designed for this sort of weather. i wear hiking boots with goretex linings. i have an Australian oiled cotton walking hat and a weather resistant fleece jacket. In a nutshell, i'm dressed appropriately and don't really think about the rain, standing water, mud, or anything else that cause my fellow Valley dwellers consternation. i simply go through it.

Granted, i'm not happy about it. i'd much rather it be sunny, 70°(F) and the world to be filled with damsels in lighter apparel, but that's not going to be the case for a few more months. (Although there's no shortage of said lightly dressed damsels about, they tend to look far colder and more miserable than other, more sensible damsels.) i've got a closet full of hawaiian shirts that call to me every time i grab the flannel.

i prefer to think of myself as "prepared".

And by this point, i'm pretty prepared to put on the sandals and shorts.

i blame Derek.

You see, his most recent post talks about how his coworkers are suddenly into Second Life and how he isn't. Well, to be honest, he compared it to one of those lame "Oh No! The Holodeck Is Broken" episodes of Star Trek. Where the writers decide to have the characters watch TV or something.

So when he dangled the prospect of reading poetry… and ducking (lots of ducking) how could i resist?

Well, that and to be honest, i wanted to see what it was like. i mean, nearly 4 Million folks have checked it out, with tens of thousands of folks doing stuff. It's gotta be pretty cool, right?

Not really. Other than the fact that it's loaded with hipster nerds, there's more than a few things you should be aware of.

1) Don't run it on a laptop. Well, at least not my 3GHz AMD64 with 512MB of memory and a built in NVidia GeoForce Go 6150 card. It chugs along like a slug with epilepsy on that box. That kinda struck me as odd since i can run Open Arena, and Quake on it without any problem.

2) Be prepared for the hard sell. Yeah, i know that they need to make money. i'm fine with that, but wowsers, they nickle and linden dollar you to death with things. Sure, it costs money to buy land to build on, buy stuff, upload graphics for elements, and really doing anything other than walk around and look at stuff. It's kinda like being at the Hilton Hawaiian Village again ("Like this clock-radio? Take it home for only $50!").

3) Remember those folks that got to the point in City of Heroes where they could change their costume for XP? Or the folks in WoW who are obsessed about getting full outfits? Imagine a world full of those people. There's an amazing level of "dress up" involved. i'm guessing because that's one of the 'more free' aspects.

So, no, i don't think that i'm going to be spending endless hours in my Second Life. Heck, my first life is a lot more fun. In that one, i get to eat brownies.

Because i'm the very core of evil and don't like experiencing tremendous pain by myself, i sent Steve a link last night. It was for a (Hmm… Is it Japanese? No. Is it from Japan? No. Does it feature even remotely Japanese like art and story lines? No.) manga comic book featuring Advil Lagrange Arvin Lahvignee Avril Lavigne.

He retaliated by sending me to the artist's website where i confirmed what is was about the art that kinda creeped me out. It looks not a little like someone did those "Sad Eyed Orphans" of years past with smaller eyes. Granted, it did make me realize that there might be a market for me ripping off Sin City using the "Happiness Is…" kids. (But dressed, because i'm betting drawing a naked, anatomically incorrect toddler pistol-whipping another naked, anatomically incorrect one might result in a visit from the FBI.)

Still, there was one bit of horror that neither he nor i expected.

That would be reserved for the promotional website.

Note, if you make it, that there's a tie in with that other fine production "eragon", because, you know, pain was meant to be shared.