jr conlin's ink stained banana

Dear j r:

Thank you for the opportunity to remind you of the Microsoft® Visual Basic® 2005 Labcast Series. But all good things must come to an end, and time is running out to qualify for your complimentary software. Just watch any two Visual Basic 2005 on-demand Labcasts and submit the evaluation form for each session, you will be eligible for a complimentary copy of Microsoft Visual Studio® 2005 Standard Edition (estimated retail price of $299)

Dear Microsoft:

Hi. Yeah, i know you got my name and email off of those free copies of Visual C++ and the Web Developer toolkit you were giving away (Quick note, Web developer toolkit didn't last as long as firebug has, and i've not really poked around with VC++ since i'm doing most of my coding under Linux and BSD, but they're nice to have), and i do appreciate the move. They're nice tools and i like "Free".

But i like "free" where i can actually, you know, use them. Dandylions are free. So are samples of poison ivy, used motor oil and STDs. You see "Free" isn't really a driving factor all the time.

So can you please stop pestering me about getting a copy of Visual Basic?

i'm a big boy now. i know how to write code in true ALGOL based languages. When i want something quick and easy, i use languages like Perl and Python. If i want pretty graphics and amazing web capabilities i'll write stuff in PHP and Javascript. i know you love Basic with all your little heart and soul (it's what got you in business to begin with). i know you've done your very best to make sure that your Basic doesn't look anything like BASIC, because who wants an object oriented language with GOTO # all over it? Heck, i got out of a introductory to BASIC class by writing a fully featured email system in it, But, seriously, enough. i don't like Basic, Sam i Am.
i will not code it on .net.
i will not use a POKE or GET.
i do like objects, arrays and structs.
But for your offer i say "Go Get Function comments that span multiple lines, for one thing".

And stop asking me to get a package i really, seriously don't want. (Geez, it's like being followed by a kid trying to sell the sucker he's already eaten. "You want it now, Mister?" "No, thanks." "How about now? *lick*")