jr conlin's ink stained banana

Growing up i used to read Cracked Magazine. Cracked was one of a handful of magazines that tried desperately to become Mad. It didn't always work, but sometimes it did and eventually it became famous for being where Don Martin went after he got tired of dealing with Marvel.

This, of course, has little to do with their old domain cracked.com, which is trying to fashion itself as something between the Onion, a Xerox machine, and those longer articles in your college paper you never read either. Still, every now and then there's something that's actually worth spending a few minutes to read. (Yeah, i know it's a reprint of an existing article.)

For what it's worth, i constantly struggle to grow my monkeysphere, and try my best not to waste braincells. (One wonders how many of those 150 slots are filled with folks that wouldn't know you from Lancelot Link.) i try to reserve a few slots for the folks that happen to be around me in the vain hope that maybe they do the same for me. It doesn't always work, but it's nice when it does.

At the local Bed Bath and Beyond (you haven't spent a swingin' Saturday night unless you wind up there), past the aisles of Breast Cancer Awareness steak knives and blenders was the following:

Recently i was asked what my favorite TV shows were. Not wanting to repeat a few that folks listed (Daily Show, Mythbusters) i decided to bring out the shows that are quite possibly the most pivotal influences of my childhood.

Ladies and Gentlemen, i give you:

Superchicken:

(i should note that before i met JIM in person, these were the voices i had in my head for Hydrogen Guy. Whether or not they continue to be depends on how threatening JIM glares at me.)

Roger Ramjet:

Probably best described as an illustrated radio program.
A poorly illustrated radio program.

Damn funny anyway.

Still beats what's usually on TV…

Unlike certain Alaskans, i am not finding time to live a more healthy lifestyle.

While i'm not exactly skinny (by any stretch of the imagination) i know what my feet look like and am capable of producing a flat surface provided i suck it in. Still, i know that i'm probably not really doing much good to myself.

i wasn't always like this. i used to run distance. Not particularly fast, mind you, but i did it and usually had the middle leg in high school because i kept the same pace no matter how far i ran. i also used to think nothing about riding my bike forty miles one way to check out a comic book shop or just see what was over there.

Lately, however, i've not really felt quite as compelled.

No, that's not right. i actually don't mind doing a bit of exercise. i kinda miss getting on my bike and riding for a few hours. i also kinda miss walking half a mile to get the bus in the morning. Thing is, while i miss that sort of stuff, i don't miss it enough to pay the price for actually doing any of it.

My alarm goes off at the cheery hour of 6:15. i awake sometime after that, but usually within one or two snooze cycles, so i'll say 6:30. i'm usually at work by 8:30 where i spend most of my time… well… working. An hour for lunch and out the door by 5:30-6:00. By 7:00 i'm cooking dinner, and done eating an hour later at 8:00. 30 minutes cleanup and a couple of hours of relaxation, and by 10:30 i'm in bed to try and get eight hours rest.

Obviously not a HECK of a lot of time to spend doing 30 minutes of vigorous exercise, plus warm-up, cool-down and shower (making it really 60 minutes). Plus, who the hell wants to do that sort of thing after coming home burnt from putting out fires at work?

i can't really walk to take the bus since that turns a normal 30 minute commute into a 60+ minute one. i can't ride my bike to and from work because i prefer to not be run over by tiny women in huge SUVs putting on their make-up. Guess i'm just funny that way.

So instead i'll simply try to make due with eating less and getting whatever exercise in i can. It's not the best solution, and i'm sure my doctor would give me a laundry list of reasons that i should do more than take the stairs every day, but until someone can come up with a way to work out while i'm trying to do something productive with my time, i'm sticking with it.

i'm not sure who's more scared.

(i mean, i do sit next to the guy, and we both like cats and all, but you wouldn't want me in the pilot's seat and i'm willing to believe that i bake better cookies.)