jr conlin's ink stained banana

Recently, i've noticed that i've become a man of many hats.

Mostly because the natural sunblock granted to me by nature is becoming increasingly less effective, but also partly because for whatever reason i seem to have acquired a rather copious number of baseball caps and like sorts. This is generally not a problem, other than my expressed desire to look about as much a dork as possible and prefer wearing non-baseball style headwear.

Sadly, while i don't mind looking like an idiot, my wife does, and has requested that i try not to do that if i ever want to be in the same state as her. Thus, a great many cranial adornments are no longer quite as select, but even then i tend to be a tad picky. While in winter i have no problem wandering about in a oil cloth fedora that makes me look less "rugged outdoorsy type" than "pasty, fat white guy with limited taste in haberdashery, but at least not completely ridiculous", summertime presents more of a challenge. Being of Irish decent, i am a child of the bogs. Several hundred generations removed from the sort of folk that don't generally observe the glowing yellow thing in the heavens and not try to throw rocks and pointed sticks at it to bring back the welcoming gray-damp sky. This means that i'm not only melanin challenged, but have a great deal of sympathy for the various ants under study of magnifying glass wielding six-year-olds. i do not tan. i simply grow increasingly more reddish-purple.

This means that the traditional, tweedy ivy caps and bowlers simply do not offer the sort of protection from the welcomed shine of Apollo that i need. Thus my nearly never ending search for proper headwear. So i've been trying out drover's as of late. One's not terribly bad even without the accompanying assortment of dangling corks. Sadly, however, i fear that most of the boonies i've tried make me look even more of an idiot than i'm willing to accept. But to paraphrase Mr. Czervik, i'm sure it looks good on you.

Still, i can only imagine that my quest for the proper headwear will continue as i try various sorts until i find the proper, multi purpose hat which is acceptable to all.

And perhaps one day, it'll be a pith.