For a little over a month now, every Friday evening, my neighbors and i collect on our respective front yards for a "Happy Hour". There's beer, wine, snacks, plenty of seating and laughs.
Every Friday afternoon, people drive or walk by, occasionally glance our way, and continue on. Nobody is ever curious enough to want to stop by.
Granted, we started out doing this because we wanted to meet more of the folks who we happen to share this part of San Jose with, and we've all been fairly surprised by the lack of response. Some claim different cultures, others snobbery, still others have their reason. Personally, i think it's just that folks have forgotten how to be friendly.
When was the last time you struck up a conversation with someone in an elevator, or in line at the store? It could be something simple like, "Ooh, i don't think i ever tried that brand of cereal. Is it any good?" or even about the weather. You're only going to be in contact with that person for a few seconds, why not try and make them smile?
Thing is, we don't. We're all generally on cellphones or plugged into iPods or otherwise diligently trying to avoid contact with our fellow humans. We strive to be utterly oblivious to what exists outside of the small bubble we feel safe in, and that's leading to a lot of crap that folks aren't going to know how to deal with. If there was a major incident in your area (earthquake, volcano, tornado, airplane crash in your backyard, etc), who could you count on helping you? Who would know to look for all the members of your family? Who might have food and water and be willing to share for a few days? Reverse the situation and can you honestly say that if said bad thing happened to the house half a block away, would you be able to do the same?
i'm friendly with the folks in my neighborhood for pretty much selfish reasons. i want to be able to use them as a backup should anything horrible happen here. To pay for that selfish goal, i try to take measures to answer as many of those questions as i can about them. Heck, it even helps me figure out how to ration accordingly by figuring out who on the block are assholes who i shouldn't deal with. "Wow, your Hummer is out of gas? That's too bad. Well, you can probably use the battery from it to charge your iPhone at least. Maybe you can call out for a pizza then."
i guess this all fits in with how folks just don't want to be responsible anymore, but that's another rant entirely.
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I try to talk to my neighbors for the same reasons that you do, JR. I find the reactions interesting. The "old-timers" in the neighborhood were happy to talk and invite me to various gatherings they threw.
The "iPod set" were standoffish. Now admittedly, many of them are students renting houses in the neighborhood, and will only be here for a year or two, but it still seems silly. They're more likely to need help with something like jump-starting an unreliable car in mid-winter, but never think about that when other neighbors are walking up and down the alley chatting with each other.
Oh well. I'm sure that once again this year, on the first below-zero day, I'll pull over to help someone standing next to a car that isn't running and offer jumper-cables. And when they ask why nobody else would stop, I'll explain that most people won't go out of their way for strangers, but will for a neighbor. But since most are probably destined for suburban existences once they finish college and get a job, they'll be fine never knowing who the person next door is.
As for responsibility, I'm not sure if that's it. I think a lot of people just don't have the foresight to think that they might need help tomorrow.