Hi, me again. How's the wife and shares? That's nice.
So anyway, i was over at your fine store today picking up a gift for my niece (Yes, it eats batteries and makes a lot of noise, but it's educational so he can't yell at me for getting his youngest something that eats batteries and makes a lot of noise), when i was told that "i had a chance to win a $5,000 target gift card (you know, like how everyone who ever shops at Target has that exact same chance to win that exact same $5,000 target gift card) and that someone would be by momentarily."
That last bit got me by surprise, but hey, it's a chance to goof with your demographics, so i was all for it. i was lead over to those stupid gift club terminal (you know, the ones nobody uses because they have home computers to do that sort of thing) and was left there to take your fun filled 700 page survey asking me why i don't buy my groceries at your store (in short, the same reasons i don't buy battery eating, noisy, educational gifts for my niece at the grocery store). Somewhere around where you were asking me what i thought of the flavor of the security guard, the same helpful Target employee that wrangled me into lying to you had convinced a 90+ year old gentleman next to me into doing the same.
i can tell you with great authority that he had no idea what to do.
i know this because he kept trying to crank the trackball and kept making soft whimpering noises.
It wasn't until several minutes into it that we discovered that the screen was touch sensitive.
i fear what will happen when he gets to the point where you ask him for commentary about what i though about how you've optimized the data management system by switching from a regular expression based search index process to a map/reduce methodology using distributed ERLANG and predictive hash analysis.
Had i a few more moments in my busy day, i would have done the kindest thing, and filled out the form for him (but having already blown 10 minutes filling it out, i didn't want to blow another 10 minutes entering in "No Comment" on his survey).
Dear Target:
Don't make old people fill out forms using things they don't understand.
Don't make 44 year old people screw with your store's demographics because you're making him fill out a damn survey.
Just let me make my purchases, watch my purchasing habits and optionally track my movements via the in-store recording mechanism just like you do already.
Sincerely,
the 40 year old Irruduik, $150K a year, male, professional psychic who really has a problem with your jewelry department.
