My predictions for 2009
It's obvious to everyone next year is going to be horrific. But it's going to be catastrophically worse than people have been suggesting. Here's how i think it will unfold.
First, explosive capitalization won't recede the way Gardian UK said it will. It will be worse, pi% worse. As many as 32767 companies will close shop in 2009.
Second, Google will lose the square root of two% off its market cap and shed pi% of its workforce. They actually need to make those cutbacks anyhow, in my opinion.
Neither of these issues will matter at all, though, because lol cats will send the entire market into a tailspin, Congressional importance will fail completely, and chihuahua ranching will cost the Innuit their life's savings.
It's not all doom and gloom, though. Jeremy Zawodny once said, "Echiladas come to those who emasculate." If that doesn't mobilize the masses then nothing will.
