The neighbor kid came over for a bit today (the five year old), "JR! JR! i played baseball today!" (Ok, call me "old school", but it always bugs me a little that the neighbor kids call me by my first name.)
"That's great, Evan! Who won?", i ask.
"Both teams did!" he beamed.
i was a confused for a second. "Was it a tie?"
"A tie?"
"Did both teams have the same score?"
"Uhm, we didn't keep score."
"Then how do you know who won!"
"We Did!"
"Did the other team win too?"
"Yep!"
"Then you didn't win."
It was about then that i began arguing with a five year old. For what it's worth, i'm not a big believer in Communist based Athletics. i understand the rationale: It doesn't lower the child's esteem, It reduces overbearing parenting, It keeps the little boogers interested in the activities.
Screw that.
Losing sucks. It hurts. It makes you sad and angry. It's also how you give yourself an incentive to work harder, a more realistic view of your abilities and strengths and how and why it's important to gain an advantage.
And so, yeah, arguing with a five year old might seem like a petty thing to do, but it has it's own end. i want him to do better than other kids. i want him to recognize for himself how insane not keeping score is or how rewarding every kid the same and that he's not being compensated for any extra effort he may be putting in isn't anywhere near as "fair" as he's being told.
Next time i see him, i'm going to race him and tell him that the winners get a shiny dollar coin! When he wins, i'm giving him a penny.
Because i've got to be fair to the 99 other kids that didn't win, or even show up.
Because that's "fair".
Then i'll tell him to get off my lawn.
