Recently, Anne Marie signed up for the Cook's Country magazine. For those that are curious, that's one of the publications from the folks that do America's Test Kitchens (a show like Alton Brown's, but with less sock puppets).
It's got a lot of good recipes and guidelines in it, but there's also a column that i swear is there for pure comedy reasons. In it, there are folks looking for their lost bits of heritage.
That or they're hoping that you lose your lunch.
Believe it or not, i know of tomato butter. Interested in trying some? Go get yerself an 8 oz. jar of unsweetened apple sauce and four cans of tomato paste. Blend. Serve on toast. Know, just as you begin your second chew, exactly why kids don't clamor for big helpin' spoonfuls of the stuff every fall with their pork chops. Also realize that i didn't even mention that a good many recipes also include cinnamon in this delightful pool of purplish acid.
As a side note, you can use the rest for Purple Slime Molds for your next LARP. Trust me, nothing will go near them.
But wait, there's more!
i feel a little bad for this one. i'm betting her grandfather was a really nice guy. i'm also betting that when he concocted this recipe he was probably thinking "Hey, Corn and pimentos isn't bad. You dress deviled eggs with pimentos. Let's mix them together and we'll be in business forever!" See, now, i'd never go near a dish like this, nor would i go near someone who ate it because i know that the sort of reaction the flora living in one's lower digestive track would have to the combination of the sugars from the corn plus the proteins and sulfates from the egg whites. Perhaps this individual is hoping to harness this new source of a nearly unlimited supply of methane.
Possibly by fitting a hose from the drivers seat straight into the engine intake.
And finally…
Green Walnuts (for those not familiar with Germanic Cuisine) are immature walnuts that are usually pickled. They have a tart/sour taste to them rather than the creamy/nutty flavor you normally get. Not a huge fan of them myself, but i can see where some folks could well be.
Now imagine a sweet green sauce with the distinct flavor of, well, crunchy floor varnish mixed in with your eggs and you can see why this assuredly mild mannered 90+ year old woman might have a slightly different taste in mind.
Yeah, look, there's a darn good reason that many of these recipes are hard to find.
Still makes me want to join the fun and see if anyone can help me chase down a childhood favorite of mine, pickled herring sorbet with chocolate sprinkles.
