isn't quite ashamed enough to present

jr conlin's ink stained banana

2010-01-14

:: Advances in Language Arts

At lunch today, we discovered that the Universal Word isn't quite as universal as we thought. It turns out that while it can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, prepositional clause, pronoun, and most other parts of speech, it has yet to be widely accepted as an article.

i intend on remedying that.

To that end, i plan on beginning to use The Universal Word in sentences such as:

"Would you please pass me f@ck salt?"

"Yes, i would like f#ck slice of delicious fruit."

"Excuse me, but is this where f$ck 113 bus stops?"

"F^ck quick brown fox jumped over fuck lazy dog."

This, of course, would inevitably lead to the final achievement, where entire complex sentences can be constructed using only the Universal Word such as "F&ck f*cking fƱckers f©cked f•cks."

i predict that this will come as a huge boon to anyone in the IT or telecommunications fields. Possibly also Physicists depending on what just unexpectedly became critically unstable.

    What do you think, sirs?

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