Recently, I was involved in a class on how to be resilient against changes. The class basically instructed folk how to recognize stress, how to address it, and how to help others on the team deal with stress so that they can return to being productive. The whole thing made me a combination of sad and angry (and a bit sweary. You've been warned.)
First off, the org I work for is pretty goddam stellar at dealing with change and being resilient. In fact, we're so resilient that there are multiple websites that (half kidding) track when our next re-org will be. They're depressingly accurate.
The org is so resilient that, frankly, it's a point of stress. This is because when a "restructure" occurs, the org generally scrambles to deal with the fall-out, by rapidly shifting priorities and tasks, finding placement for the folk that were laid off (if applicable), and sharing notes about the various individuals who are now leading potentially very different aspects of the org. All the while, we still have deliverables we have to deliver, things we have to do, and people we have to deal with. Empathy is core, because we're all subject to it so caring for each other is key.
But, still, it can be interesting sitting in on a mandated class like this, because the presenters are always a bit surprised how we regularly cite things that "are coming up later as solutions". Hell, yeah, we know the solutions because we have already incorporated them for our own survival and sanity.
So, really, sitting in these sessions makes me increasingly sad and angry. Not at my org, at the tech industry at large. The fact that these trainings exist, and that there are people for whom this information is "new" and "applicable" makes me angry about how my generation really fucked over the current working class. Absolutely none of this is new, but here, let me give y'all some guidance:
1) Have a back up plan
Actually, have a few. Yes, your head is full of assholes, but don't expect everything to go swimmingly. Things fail. A lot. Be honest and consider what happens if the worst, most reasonable things happen. Let your inner pessimist run free during these limited planning phases. Chances are pretty good you won't need to act on any of them, but it's better to have some sort of plan rather than scramble at the last minute.
2) Your coworkers are your greatest asset
Rockstar 10x Super Ninja Whatevers are a liability, no matter what upper management says. The most effective group is a group. The worst thing that can happen is divvying up that group "to spread around that magic". The magic was that you had a group that understood each other's strengths and weaknesses and acted as balances. A good group watches out for each other. This includes the manager, by the way. A good team watches to make sure the manager isn't getting overloaded or overstressed and will pitch in to help that manager just like the manager is a firewall to protect the team from outrageous demands. A good Crew protects the Captain like the Captain protects the Crew.
3) Empathy is a skill to develop
Empathy is understanding another person. Maybe it's understanding not only what they do, but all the complications they have. This includes if they might be nero-diverse. Someone may have issues with communication or executive function and need help with that. Absolutely, nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, understanding how to best communicate or divide tasks to reduce executive function load turns out to be AMAZINGLY USEFUL when dealing with "cis-neural" folk as well.
For instance, if you've got someone on your team with ADHD, having them work with someone on dividing big projects into smaller chunks that they find interesting is a huge help. Likewise, someone may have Asperger's and have questions or concerns because they may be thinking about stuff you aren't. Many folk have multiple skills that they can bring to a task.
Trainings like this reinforce "echoing" where you repeat back to someone what they said to show that you're listening. Know what is even more effective? ACTUALLY LISTENING! I know, right? Turns out if you speak to the things that the person JUST TOLD YOU, then they also appreciate it and feel a lot less like they're talking to some meat-eLiza.
4) Your brain loves to fuck with you
I always laugh when these courses talk about how people react to stress. Not because they're not correct, folk have fairly predictable patterns, but because when you're stressed and reacting, you're reacting because you're stressed. Stress does things like shut down higher mental function. You don't know you're stressed. Hell, you may not even realize you're reacting. You're just doing normal things as far as your brain lies to you. It's up to your team mates to notice your behavior change and help you address it.
This is where empathy becomes a survival mechanism, because if someone is stressed out and breaks, then your work load increases because you have to pick up what they aren't. That can cause you to stress and burn out, which cascades. Making sure that a stressed co-worker can deal with their stress means you get less stress.
Yay for not being a complete sociopath!
This also loops back on the other points. You know, about how your coworkers are your greatest asset and how empathy is a skill you develop, because, again, their hardships become your hardships really fucking fast if you're not careful. It's also why a good team takes effort and there's no "magic". Knowing how to tell if Bob is "just like that" or "needs help" is something that develops because I sure as hell can assure you that Bob isn't going to tell you.
Right, that all was the second half of the training. The first half had to deal with "Stress Management".
The Fuck-it Bucket
I mentioned this before, but most folks have pretty common ways of dealing with stress. You probably know them. Things like "Fight or Flight", "Shutting Down", etc. I'm going to note that there's one more that I credit to the Gen X crowd (and I even mentioned it in the class). It's "Whatever".
I lived through the cold war, in Washington D.C. and knew exactly what points on my daily commute were targets for Russian ICBMs. I could literally die in a flash at any point for most of my adolescence and knew of the Turner Apocalypse Tape long before a lot of other folk. I was not alone. Most of my peers and kids my age knew all about it too. So we created our collective Fuck-it Buckets that got to bin all the horrors of our current lives. Our reaction? Shrug and carry on doing whatever. It's different from "Shut down", in a more "Yeah, so an asteroid is going to wipe out civilization. Cool. Anyway, I was trying to fix this bug." sorta way. It's very much also "Maybe pick up a six pack and a lawn chair for what will be an absolutely amazing fireworks show over the Pentagon" vibe.
Now, what goes in my Fuck-it Bucket is going to be radically different that what goes in yours. Basically, I look at all the stress points in my life (and there are quite a lot), and decide which I can address within the next two weeks. Once I've done what I can to address them, off it goes into the Fuck-it Bucket and I stop caring. The stuff I have zero control or influence over go straight into the Fuck-it Bucket.
World politics? Fuck-it.
Environmental collapse? Fuck-it.
Economic injustice? Fuck-it.
It doesn't mean I don't care about those. Sometimes I'll fish out an older concern so I can act on it, like decide to go shop anywhere else other than Amazon, or if I get a car, make it a PHEV, but beyond those limited actions, ain't a helluva lot more I can do, really.
I fully understand that those courses are also reflecting my absolute privilege. Like I said, my Bucket isn't yours. I guarantee there are things I'm more concerned about that you could care less around. That's completely ok. You do you.
Mind you, "work" may be in the Fuck-it Bucket.
Executive / Corporate Drama? Fuck-it.
Some new initiative that is based more on buzz-words than reality? Fuck-it.
I never mention that to execs because their egos tend to believe that they are the Voice of God and that their concerns and ideas are sacrosanct, but in reality, my career has outlasted most of the companies they've worked for, so yeah, I'm going to go with my system.
There, just saved y'all 2 hours.
You're welcome.
CDF