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isn't quite ashamed enough to present

jr conlin's ink stained banana

:: Disnopia

Over the past week, i spent time at Walt Disney World. It was for a work meet-up. Granted, meet-ups like that are strange, since the purpose of those meetings is to ignore the wonderful outside with all the constant temptations, and listen to each other discuss efficient application design and product goals. It was a good meeting, but i think what it really did was help me understand why i am uncomfortable about Disney.

Mind you, large venues like that are honestly pretty darn good at handling the incredibly complex logistics required to deal with feeding, housing and tending a few battalions worth of humanity. This is not something that the local Motel 6 will handle well. i’m forever interested in the logistical angles of that sort of thing, and Disney World pretty much fits near the pinnacle of that. i’m pretty sure there’s maybe one other location that deals with as many faithful folks willing to walk in circles for miles, and i’m pretty sure that place doesn’t have ties to Star Wars and the Muppets, although the level of religious fervor is nearly the same.

Disney has sorta perfected the idea of operational “magic”. Much like typical magic, they rely heavily on misdirection and your general willingness to disbelieve the obvious answers. You’re not willing to believe that there’s a vast underground network of tunnels, workshops and support architecture that goes into making Chicken Little or Braer Rabbit pop up for a photo shoot from behind a “rock” or “tree”.

Thing is, if you’re willing to accept that, things get… well… lazy. You notice that while the Holiday Cheer soundtrack weaves one catchy hook into another, the whole loop lasts about 40 minutes. Likewise, you might be sitting at a themed restaurant watching a bunch of shorts and notice that after 50 minutes, things seem oddly familiar again. Disney, being the source of many childhood memories tends to horde them, and dole them out like a Junk Lady from Labyrinth. After all, they get to profit from your nostalgia. That level of repetition is because you’re not supposed to be staying put long enough to notice it, and certainly not pay attention to it.

Disney parks are like Vegas for kids. They’re about providing enough distraction on top of a thin veneer that you can escape into. They are fantasy in it’s most real form. A daydream in plaster and paint that knows you’re not going to poke at it.

Disney is about control and scripting, to provide everyone the exact, same experience, including you. It’s reliable entertainment in the way that a playground set is. People are willing to consider it “traditional”. They eat Turkey on Thanksgiving, shop at Target, and pile in the car and spend $65 a head to see the “Christmas Light Spectacular” at Disney Hollywood Studios. Just like everyone else. Mind you the display is basically the same thing you see in the daytime, just with tiny lights all over it, but it’s “Tradition” and so you do it. For them, it’s comforting.

i’m a bit different, i guess. i like nostalgia, sure, but i like to think those memories are mine. Jay Ward Productions may have sold Bullwinkle to Disney, but the way the horrible title puns set my preferences for humor are why i like watching re-runs of the Rocky & Bullwinkle show. That, and they don’t really feature stuff from my childhood.

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