So, last night (ok, early this morning) i had a dream that brought about an epiphany about myself. After about 50 years of feeling that i’m weirdly broken, i realized something kinda core about myself.
i really like helping people.
i get a significant dopamine rush out of helping someone who either doesn’t expect it or really needs it. Sometimes it’s little things, sometimes they’re bigger. Usually, it’s stuff that most folks won’t notice.
Mind you, one of my heroes is amazingly creative and productive, but he tends to build things for his own enjoyment. He’s quite legendary for crafting items with tremendous skill and keeping them in his personal museum. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, because it brings him great joy and fulfillment.
However, to me, it’s sort of an act of masturbation (and you can thank my subconscious for this one) his display room is kind of a Creativity Cum Box. If you’re not familiar with what that is, please do NOT look that up.
Yeah, i guess that explains why i’ve not been super interested in seeing his display (not like i’d ever have the chance, but still…)
He’s still my hero for the other things he’s done and continues to do for education and communications. In some small respect, he’s even helped me figure out myself, and i’m thankful for that.
Guess i’d just rather get my joy on other people rather than in a display case.
(wait, that sounds totally wrong…)