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jr conlin's ink stained banana

:: Advertisement Policy

The Internet is a fun-filled source of porn revenue that’s just ripe for the plucking, isn’t it? Sure thing! And what better way for you, Mr. and/or Mrs. Semi Professional Advertising Marketer? In fact, research has shown that the best way to build artificial credibility for your latest venture (before the court ordered entrepreneurial restructuring) is to find places to post your advertisements for the lowest possible price. And what better price than Free?

That’s why hundreds of you out there are using state of the art search technologies. You’ve read about these success driven techniques on various relief station publishing venues for days and are itching to try them out.

You carefully study the prospective market before making the right move and coming here, to the Ink Stained Banana, viewed daily by tens of people, it’s an audience ripe for pillaging marketing. You secretively place your personal or business ad in a “comment” for an entry and wait for the magic to happen.

But how does this magic happen? Let’s see how!

First, our administrator receives an e-mail within seconds of your posting. He’s been studying and working with various advertising SEO opportunities for years and knows that nothing beats good link text to get your advertisement noticed. Within seconds, he’s on the case finding your ad and helping you get noticed!

Good placement comes from having the right keywords. Quite often, young advertisers will use overloaded keywords such as “Viagra” or “Mortgage Rates”. These fields are crowded with literally millions of competitors. That’s why our staff will re-customize your ad to include keywords such as “Grandmother rapist” or “HaXors Are PuSSieS” or even “Under Federal Investigation”. Soon your ad will be in the top search results for folks looking for “Child molesters”, “Fraudulent Businesses” or maybe even “Corpse Fondling”.

Naturally, some may wish not to take advantage of this amazing service, and if you would prefer lower rankings, simply contact this site to take advantage of our low-low rate of $100/CPI1.

1All reporting of actual impression count will be by this site using general estimation accounting methods which may or may not reflect actual page views. The Management of Ink Stained Banana has final say over any count, however each individual hit may be examined provided a $150 Examination fee per incident is paid in full before any actual investigation occurs. Please allow four to six years for thorough investigation of any claim. All Fees and Charges are non-negotiable and due upon ad creation. A $200 per day handling charge will be incurred for any outstanding un-paid advertisement. The management reserves the right to modify any content at any time. Payment must be made via approved certified cashiers check drawn against a United States bank no later than thirty (30) seconds after the advertisement was posted. Processing fee may be charged during transit time. Overpayments will not be refunded, however a percentage may be applied to future transactions.

Hurry now to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer!

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